Tuesday, May 6, 2008

And The Big Pussy Pick of the Week Goes To...

...None other than our fearless "leader" himself, Willie Randolph!

(and the crowd goes wild)

This is Willie's first award, ever, since he's never won anything as Manager of the New York...well, maybe he's won the ire of most Mets fans. But let's not get ahead of ourselves there, eh?

The honor goes to Willie the Wonker for several reasons this week, namely because he's a big pussy who is afraid of all of his veteran players and a big bully who calls out his young guys whenever he gets the chance. See, these guys have a chance to be bigger than he was, and well, he can't have that.

But most of all, an article that came out today exposing Willie for the fraud he is appeared in the Post today, Willie had the balls...erm, uterus, to call out the fans for what he perceives as impatience, idiocy and not to mention uneasy to please.

"Willie Randolph doesn’t think it was an accident that the Mets looked so relaxed while taking two of three from the Diamondbacks in Arizona over the weekend. Randolph admitted yesterday that the constant negativity from the fans at Shea Stadium so far this year - an obvious carryover from last September’s epic collapse - has turned the road into a welcome refuge. 'In our mind, we moved on,' Randolph said of last season’s historic meltdown. 'Obviously, the fans are having a tough time moving past that.'"

Ah, but in a paraphrase of what the Naked Cowboy once told me in Times Square, moving on is just a metaphor, honey. (actually he told me that naked was just a metaphor). You see, 2007 is all but in the rearview. And true, it sticks in the fans heads for several reasons - one is that, our postseason tickets that we had to pay beforehand never got to be used, we had our ticket prices jacked up 20% on average just because, hey, the Mets felt like doing it and the media keeps cramming it down our throats.

But hey, we showed up on Opening Day, Willie, didn't we? We showed up in our jerseys, with our voices primed to start chanting Lets GO Mets, and with our hard-earned dollars...

So we could watch pussies like YOU take the field and blow the lead against the hated Phils and LOSE the final Opening Day ever at Shea Stadium.

Pussy.

But you know, there is nothing more the Mets fans would like to do Willie than move on from 2007. The problem is, sure you may think the team moved on from it...but their play out on the field shows they most certainly have not. I mean, as manager, what exactly are you teaching them? To dog plays? Keep their heads buried in the sand while fundamentals go out the window?

If that's your idea of competitive play, then you deserve every accolade you get, Wills.

But wait, there's more.

We find out after he throws the Mets fanbase under the bus much like he's done to many of his young players like Ollie Perez, David Wright, Jose Reyes, Angel Pagan and Nelson Figueroa, that he lost the clubhouse last year much like we expected.

And that while the Mets were free-falling out of first place, he didn't feel the need to have a "meeting." Oh, wait, if you count the whole "champagne is sweeter" business, then forgive me.

But no, we find out now that a meeting was called by Marlon Anderson.

A role player.

A premier pinch-hitter.

A guy who comes into the game maybe twice a week.

To quote my dear Aunt Peggy...you have to be fucking kidding me, Willie.

You make such a big deal that you are the boss, when it's clear the players should line up at the local Walgreens and buy Vagisil in bulk.

Because buddy, you're gonna need it when the Mets can your sorry ass for this pathetic play and you can't go to the gynecologist anymore on your Mets paid-for health insurance plan.

So on that note, week three of the Big Pussy Pick of the Week, Willie Randolph holds the title. Here's to many many more, Willie. Cheers.

4 comments:

crazymetgirl said...

Perfectly put -- bravo to you Coop!

Willie's gotta go. Period.

Deb said...

Power... to the people....
Power to the people... right on!

You go, girl! :)

Toasty Joe said...

Nice post! You've earned come linkage on my blog.

DINGOMETS said...

Willie's got about 3 weeks, in my mind, to figure out why this team is sucking noodles, and get things turned around...