Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Where Were We....

...when we last left off?

Oh yeah; the Mets sucked.

And they still do.

So I guess what I missed in the interim between blogposts was same old/same old, and more of it.

A bit overly simplistic fer ya? How complicated do you need it to be? Sometimes, it is just that simple. They suck, period, end of story. And what really bugs me isn't so much that they are losing, which is pretty understandable due to the fact that three of our four "stars" are MIA, two of the four MIA for quite some time now. Nay, 'tis not the problem. The problem lies in the shoddy, uninspired, insipid, boring, flat, tired, play of what's left of this team, and I continue to marvel anew each and every day over the lack of execution of even the most basic of baseball fundamentals, which is only surpassed by my daily marvel at how little the team seems to care how badly it sucks.

And David Wright is still mouthing cliches through it all, which is somewhat maddening, head scratching and fairly amusing at the same time. And as far as I'm concerned, so much for Wright As Leader proponents...this guy couldn't lead a squirrel to an acorn. Even if it were an inch from its nose.

Bottom line, kiddies? As Kurtis Blow once said (and boy, do they blow!)...these are the breaks.... BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP! Please, oh, please, somebody....ANYbody...dismantle this pathetic mess. They're simply unwatchable, which is why I haven't been. Watching, that is. Or blogging, as my one-half reader has probably noticed.

So in that happy fucking spirit, here's my little rewrite of the Blow ditty:

Clap your hands everybody
If you got what it takes
Cause we all know, that the Mets, they blow,
And these are the breaks...

Brakes on a bus brakes on a car
Breaks don't make Dave a superstar
Mets don't win, Mets just lose
And Mets fans, they just get the blues...

And these are the breaks
Break 'em up, break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP!

If Delgado don't come back this year
(That's the breaks that's the breaks)
And Jose Reyes, status unclear,
And Jerry Manuel, well, he wants to chat,
And he can't explain why he played that cat...

And Freddie Boy sends you a bill
For tickets that don't give you no thrill
And you borrowed money from your pop
Just so's you could watch this slop

Well, these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!

Throw your hands up in the sky
And wave 'em 'round from side to side
And if you deserve a break tonight
Somebody say alright!

(All right) Say ho-oo!

(Ho-oo!) And you don't stop

Keep on, somebody scream!

(Owwwww!) Break down!

Breaks on a stage, breaks on a screen
The Mets, they make your wallet lean
The Mets run cold, and you run hot
And breaks is something you ain't got

But these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!!!

Break down!

To the boys in blue, what's wrong wit chu?
(Break 'em up, break 'em up)
To the boys in blue, whatcha gonna do?
To the boys in blue, I'm tired a you!
To the boys is blue, a big f*** you!

Break down!

Brakes on a plane, brakes on a train
The Mets just make you go insane
Breaks in love, breaks in war
We got no breaks, we never score!

And these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!!!!

Break down! Yo!

Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!

You say last week they played so well
(That's the breaks, that's the breaks)
And then it all went straight to hell
They promised us the stars in the sky
And instead, all we got to do is cry

Well, these are the breaks!

Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!

Break down.......

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Pelfrey Comes Up Small, And Other Stuff

Talk about coming up small, Charlie Brown...we need speak no other name than Mike Pelfrey. After the banged up, hobbled up, crippled up and just plain throwing up version of the Mets lost the first two games of the Pittsburgh series, you would think, YOU WOULD THINK, after an unplanned off-day yesterday, that they might find a way to crawl out of their miserable hole and salvage the final game of the series....

Nada, nope, negatory, good buddy. Instead, Mike Pelfrey comes up way short and the Mets get swept by the Pirates. SWEPT. BY THE PIRATES. BY.THE.PIRATES. One of the worst teams in the league with an organization and management possibly worse than ours.

I say possibly, because lately, that's truly up for debate. In fact, I'm starting to think the Mets' organization has no clue how to manage medical issues, on top of the no clue they already have in the areas of manager, general manager, and owner. And while we're at it, we can throw in player and personnel management, here, if we want.

But back to the subject at hand, which is the piss poor pathetic performance of one Mike Pelfrey on an afternoon when his team really, REALLY needed him.

As Charlie Brown has been wont to say.... *sigh.* Yes, Virginia, today the Mets finally played some "small ball," but in typical Mets fashion, they eschewed the conventional meaning of the term and did what the Mets all-too-often do...they bastardize the meaning of the term into something exquisitely horrible and painful to watch.

And here's something interesting vis-a-vis our erstwhile division nemesis, the Atlanta Braves. As sports fans are now aware, the Braves pulled off a trade with the Pirates yesterday, giving up three prospects for outfielder Nate McLouth, which, when I heard it, caused me to have the following thoughts: (a) it's obvious the Braves had a need in the outfield, more particularly, in center field, since what they were getting out of CF this year was a pathetic interstate batting average; (b) amazingly, the Braves were ABLE TO IDENTIFY this need; and (c) they went out and filled the need with an appropriate player, a young guy with chops and a good track record thus far, not some crippled up old guy, or some cheap marginal guy, or some guy who has no idea how to actually play the position which he'll be asked to play on a daily basis, or some guy that probably can't play the position but they're going to force him into it anyway because they think he can be good, not that he's ever proven it, mind you; and (d) problem solved.

They also released Tom Glavine, thus ridding themselves of an ineffective and oft-injured player, in a decisive manner, understanding that they would have to eat the rest of his contract, but knowing that addition by subtraction is sometimes very wise. Very wise, indeed. Especially when you want to move strongly forward.

I ask you, Mets fans, when's the last time the Mets did something, ANYTHING, as simple and smart as what the Braves have just done?

Don't even answer that. Don't even.