Thursday, August 14, 2008

Now This Here Is Some Weird Fucking Shit....

...and I ain't just a-playing Dixie on yer ass!

Weird Fucking Shit #1: Julia Child, that indomitable lovable television chef that we all knew, wouldn't admit to watching, but did... the lovely lady who couldn't cook for nothin', and was in fact told by more than one cooking instructor to hang up her potholders, the same lovely lady so well and truly parodied by Dan Aykroyd on SNL for many years was apparently, of all things... a spy for the good ol' U S of A. Now, I've heard some weird fucking shit in my lifetime; in fact, I've caused more than my fair share of weird fucking shit, but when I heard this this morning, I just about peed the bed laughing.

The lovely lady apparently spied for the US in the post-WWII era, for the OSS, the forerunner of the CIA. OMG. LOL. The French Chef "cooked" for the U.S. This information, although rumored for at least ten years, was finally confirmed in a routine relase of thousands of previously classified documents.

I wonder what Dan Aykroyd could have done with his Julia Child impersonation had he known this little tidbit of info....couldja just imagine? Episodes like "Cooking Your Goose" with Joe Stalin, or maybe "Eating Crow" or "Failure To Make European Provisions" with FDR and Winston Churchill? And how about the books she could have written, like "The Art of Cooking Opium For Spies," as it was rumored she actually kept the stuff around to "pay off" her spy stoolies....

"Appetite For Life," indeed, Julia!

Fucking fascinating shit; I kid you not!

Weird Fucking Shit #2: The Opening Ceremony Of The 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics Was Apparently (Gasp!) Partially Fraudulent. I mean, can you believe that a country with such stellar morals and world standing would do such a thing as declaring a young child "too ugly" for television, thus having this child singing "behind the scenes" while another, much "cuter" young lady, lip synched for the camera? Yikes, this is some weird.fucking.shit.

But not some weird.unexpected.fucking.shit. The Chinese are, after all, not immune to the ideals and ideas of society or of The Commandments Of Television And Media, under which the First Commandment is "Thou Shalt Not Air Unattractive People If Other Options Are Readily Available."

Along with "Thou Shalt Consider Lip Synching A Readily Available Option."

Disgraceful? Nah, to be expected, but some weird fucking shit nevertheless.

Weird Fucking Shit #3: The Yankees are actually on the verge of not making the playoffs for the first time since 1993. Actually, this one should be classified as some Weird Fucking Shit That Tickles The Hell Out Of Me! Mr. Hanky even as much as came out this past week and said, publicly, something to the effect that they [the Yankees] would "win it next year."

And even weirder fucking shit within the already weird fucking shit is that nobody, but NOBODY in the Yankee Universe has dared to ask a player, manager, team official, team flunky, groupie or hanger-on what he or she thinks of this latest blabber gushing from the mouth of Mr. Hanky.

And notice, I never seem to tire of posting Yankees Suck images...

7 comments:

Rickey Henderson said...

Julia Child, a spy? Well, Rickey can certainly say that he did not see that coming...

Agreed, re: the lip synching scandal. The idea of China telling a young girl that she's too ugly to appear on tv is reprehensible, but not really surprising.

Deb said...

The idea of ANY country doing that is reprehensible, but not really surprising, lol.

Yeah, ol' Jules was an OSS spy, working for "Wild Bill" Donovan. "Wild Bill" was apparently quite the character (I assume that's at least how he partially came to be called "Wild Bill"); in fact, W.E.B. Griffin gives "Wild Bill" some real chops in his Men At War series of novels.

Brian H said...

>And notice, I never seem to tire of posting Yankees Suck images...<


Nor should you...EVER...

And hey look at the bright side...at least your guys aren't one game from being swept by the Dodgers, having given up not one, but TWO fucking walk offs.

Deb said...

Awwww....... POOR FUCKING BABY! Hee hee hee lol *snicker.*

But don't feel too badly, Brian, dear; it's gonna be a three-horse race right down to the wire, with probably what may be a photo finish...

Rickey Henderson said...

Yeah, any country indeed... Rickey should've said it that way rather than be confused with sharing the same attitudes as Spain's men's basketball team...

George said...

I'm surprised everyone is so surprised by the Child thing. Maybe it's because I'm a foodie who lives in Santa Barbara where Child lived the last years of her life, but I thought it was common knowledge. She could butcher a chicken, or a spy, in less than 60 seconds.

Deb said...

I had heard rumors about it a couple of years ago, but just never paid attention to them, quite frankly. They were kind of sub rosa, hush hush and said more tongue in cheek than seriously. But now that they have been confirmed through the release of previously classified data is really quite fascinating.

And the revelation about her paying off her stooges in opium just really tickles me, lol.