Wednesday, July 16, 2008

All Star Observations

I have to confess, I didn't watch much of the game last night; fact is, I would have watched even less if I didn't have almost a half hour to kill between the time my company left, and the time a movie I wanted to watch began.

But of course, I have a few observations to make; I am, after all, a blogger, and a very opinionated one at that, in case any of you hasn't noticed.

Firstly, why does the actual game begin so late? At 8:39 p.m., here on the east coast, Fox announcers were still yakking it up, and the game was still lying in wait somewhere in Yankee Stadium. In other words, it hadn't yet started *snicker*. So why everyone is so upset and surprised that the game ended up going until about 2 a.m. eastern time the following day is totally beyond this blogger. Elementary Basball 101 teaches us that an extra inning game means that the game will be extended by the amount of innings it takes for one team to have the winning score, each team having had the same number of outs. And the Immutable Laws of The Universe 101 teach us that time is expended while this is happening. Adding these things together, if you don't start a game until almost 9 p.m., it's pretty reasonable to assume (taking into account 101 and 101 aforedescribed) that THE FUCKING GAME WILL EXTENDED INTO THE EARLY MORNING HOURS.

And Life 101 teaches us that we must expect the unexpected... so tell me, sports fans, WHY DOESN'T THE FUCKING GAME BEGIN AT A REASONABLE HOUR? I know, I know, you're going to tell me all the pre-game hype and the prime time commercial sales and shit like that, but you know what? There are HOW MANY UMPTEEN GAZILLION DOLLARS IN BASEBALL ALREADY? Make the game more family and kid-friendly, rather than trying to increase fan interest by giving the winning league home field advantage for the World Series (something which truly makes me scratch my head), and maybe you'll find a much larger TV audience and get the desired family viewing you so seem to crave.... *insert eye roll here.*

Second thing. Alex Rodriguez 101 has taught us, over the years, how self-absorbed, narcissistic and vain Mr. Rodriguez is. A friend of mine here at work yesterday joked that Alex probably doesn't even have mirrors in his bedroom; he probably has pictures of himself plastered ceiling to floor, floor to ceiling. But I digress. Anyway, rumor has it that after he played his 4-2/3 innings, he went into the clubhouse, showered, changed and left the Stadium... that's right, he LEFT THE STADIUM, and went places unknown where more Madonna was apparently heard in the background. Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera and everyone else hung out until the end, but oh, no, not Mr. Rodriguez. The top vote getter among the fans. He may love himself, but I think that's where the love for A-Rod begins and ends, and rightly so.

Third thing. Dan Uggla's defense really is, well... uggla. I mean, I always knew he was known for his bat and not his glove, but last night really drove that point home, so to speak.

Fourth thing. Surprise, surprise... Billy Wagner choked, once again, in a game situation. Did anyone NOT see that coming like a freight train at 1000 mph? And hey, Billy, just because you tell us you stink, does that mean that takes the sting out of your stinking? Just save a big game once in your life, and shut up. Believe me, we'll notice whether or not you're stinking, all on our own. Without any help from you and your BIG MOUTH!

Final thing. The AL won, a-gain. Is anyone shocked? What's that, the 13th one in a row for the AL? Hmmm... 13.... A-Rod.... it's enough to make one sick!

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