Friday, September 26, 2008

We Now Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You a VERY SPECIAL Big Pussy Pick for the "New" Three-Game Season...

I was thinking that the BPPOW would be put on hold, you know, cause this is technically the last week of the regular season, but what I read today qualified for a special dispensation to include another round of Big Pussy's Pick for this upcoming "season" against the Marlins.

Now, if you are a Mets fan, but happened to be a.) stuck in a cave with no radio, TV or newspaper access, 2.) given up on the team in the last week or D.) cryogenically frozen and unfrozen during Spring training this week, the Mets collapsed with 17 games to play, with a 7 game lead. That said, the last week was particularly atrocious, dropping six of seven games down the critical stretch, and dropping of course 2 of three to the Marlins, who emulated their lives on being Scooby Doo's nephew, Scrappy -- Let me at 'em, I'll splat 'em!!

Never mind that the Mets were just HORRIBLE in NL East match-ups in 2007. Cripes, I remember so many games against the Marlins and Nationals just thinking, if they could have won just one more game out of those contests (which theoretically they should have been 900-0 in those games), then of course being absolutely owned by the Phillies, that if there was a team that should have taken the division, well, it should not have been the Mets.

We fans though, we watched the games. We went through the collapse, day by day, night after excruciating night. And we saw that even though the last week was painful, none of it would have mattered if the Mets won the games they should have won.

But of course, with our "ace" Tom Glavine not making it out of the first inning, recording only one out, and being on the hook for 7 runs...well, much like Beltran looking at strike three in 2006, that is what everyone remembers. Not the events leading up to that moment, events that should not have occurred in the first place.

Now a few weeks back, you may remember that I called poster-boy for Ritalin Cody Ross "BPPOW" because he is convinced Big Mike Pelfrey threw at him intentionally -- meanwhile, he stands on top of the plate. But boy, the big shit-talkers on the Marlins today...takes the proverbial cake. In fact, I hope that Jerry Manuel tapes this to everyone's locker -- makes sure they read it, and for those who's English isn't too refined, translate it in Spanish.

In the Orlando Sun-Sentinel today, Scotty Olson congratulated himself for his part in the collapse by having NY-style pizza after humiliating the Mets that day (um, he didn't start). Cody Ross, BPPOW winner, also says that "we are the last team they'd want to see."

But the icing on the cake is when former Met Mike Jacobs says, "I don't necessarily think they're worried because of what happened last year...They should be worried because we play them tough. … I wouldn't say we're in their heads, but they know they need to be perfect. If they're not, they're going to have a tough time."

Oh, you done did it this time, Mikey. No, the Marlins and the collapse is not in their heads. The only reason people fucking remember it is because idiots like YOU refuse to let it go. Mind you, save the core of Carloses, Wright and Reyes, new guys who have been integral help this season in Evans, Murphy, and even Church weren't even on the fucking team last year. Oh yeah, we also have a true ace, on the right side of 30, a legit Cy Young candidate each year, who happens to be starting Sunday. So put that in your hairy bagpipe and smoke it, mister.

Olson says in this article that it was fun to hear 55,000 people being so quiet. Yes, he must be used to it, with the 55 people who show up to his starts -- that's 9,945 less than the walk-ups we'd get whenever Pedro pitched in 2005.

Scotty Olson also starts on Sunday. Oh yes, he of his 8-11 record, and 1.33 WHIP. Verrrry intimidating. Hmmm, maybe Johan Santana, after you know waxing his ass in the matchup, will be nice enough to send him a Mama's of Corona's sanguich before booting his ass on the next plane to Miami.

But the piece de resistance on this is the ever-famous quote from the mildly (okay, incredibly) insignificant former Mets catcher Paul LoDuca: "It was not a good memory...And I'm hoping we can make it not good memories for them again this year."

I'm sorry many games have you played in this year? Do you actually think you are relevant?

I would like to apologize for past wrongs and potentially perceived as future wrongs to the Marlins.

You did your last shit talking of the season. Don't you guys have anything better to do, you know, like makes plans to golf with Grandpa? Cause you know, at least the Mets have something to play, other than being spoiler.

As one of the great sages in modern cinema said in Little Miss Sunshine: "There are two types of people in this world. There are winners. And there are losers." Substitute "Pussy" for "Loser" in that last line, and it still makes sense. Nothing says "Loser" or "Pussy" more to me than trying to deliberately ruining the chances of a team that is destined to make the playoffs.

Yeah, I said it. I'm a winner. Sue me. But on Sunday, when Scott Olson is crying into his Cel-Ray soda, and Mike Jacobs is home changing diapers, and Cody Ross is trying to get Grandpa out of the assisted living facility to play golf on Tuesday...well, I just hope they enjoy the celebrating on the field that is going to occur...

You know...cause we are celebrating the last regular season game at Shea. Of course that's what I meant. *wink, wink*

1 comment:

Deb said...

You know what, Coop? It's all sour grapes, because none of them -- that's right, NONE OF THEM, count 'em - NONE OF THEM - have a shot at postseason play, so this is all they have left to play for.

I think BLODuca's new nick ought to be "Mr. Irrelevant," *snicker.*

Look, I'm as down on the Mets as the next guy or gal, but hearing shit like this really fires me up, and guess what? I'll bet it fires up the Mets as well.

And at least, this weekend, we'll have something to be playing for other than stepping on the other guy's pecker :)!