Thursday, September 4, 2008

Stranger in Paradise, And Some Shit That Still Pisses Me Off...

...hey, Mets fans, remember this guy? Just who IS that Stranger in Paradise? Well, rumor has it that he's been throwing off the mound and making progress in returning to the Met bullpen.

If that's not enough of a hint, try these: he likes farm animals; he speaks with an annoying southern flavor and twang; and finally, for the past few years, he's been blowing saves in important games for the Mets.

And NO, it's not Armando Benitez, wise guys!

Of course, I'm speaking of the pictured Billy Wagner, none other. And as I'm reading today about his "progress," I'm really wondering to myself that, if he's ready for the postseason (assuming the Mets make it, of course), how much confidence I'll really have in Billy Boy. While it's undeniable that despite its recent successes, the Met bullpen is in dire need of a rags-to-riches level makeover, I just wonder how much Mets fans think they can count on Billy to save the "big games."

From what I've seen of him as a Met, I'd have to say that while he's better than our current alternatives, that's like saying a punch in the nose is better than a punch in the stomach. Or something like that.

The Mets are fresh off a sweep of one of the better NL teams, the Milwaukee Brewers, that featured timely hitting, good bullpen work, and mostly good starting pitching, with the exception of wookie Jon Niese, whom I think was just mostly nervous, pitching in front of a huge unfriendly crowd with what looked to be every single member of his immediate family, extended family, neighbors, and anybody who's ever heard of him present at Miller Park. I think Jon will be fine, but I think he's seen his last start in The Show this year.

Questions remain about Pedro Martinez, but then, questions always remain about and around Pedro Martinez. His health has always been fragile, and any team that thinks they are going to get a start from Pedro every five days for the entire season has been drinking the Republican Kool-Aid, but that's for another post. The Republican Kool-Aid, that is.

And finally, some shit that still pisses me off, even after all my years on the internet. You wanna know what it is? OK, I'm going to tell you. You dragged it out of me. You forced me into it. What really still pisses me off is idiots on the 'net that have the courage to post as "anonymous," that feel the need to correct every single little faux pas that any message board poster, blogger or commenter makes. You know the type I'm talking about; the ones that can't resist pointing out every spelling error, every misuse of context, every grammatical miscue; the ones that can't stop themselves from hiding behind their 'net anonymity (both a curse and gift to mankind, imo), and not-so-bravely feel the need to assert their perceived superiority, their powers of observation, their advanced intelligence and their munificent egos pointing out the little foiables (notice I've liked that word lately?) of their fellow 'netters, most of whom are actually contributing something to either a message board, blog, website, or whatever.

These little gnats are much like their namesakes -- almost invisible, tiny pieces of annoying waste, who seem to exist for little purpose other than annoying every other form of life in the universe.


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