I Think I'm Going To Be Phucking Philthy Sick....

And why GREEN vomit, you ask? You even HAVE TO ASK? Why, in honor of the big ol' goofy green head of none other than the Philly Phanatic, who frankly, I'd like to punch in his big fat nose this morning, that's how sick I feel. Sick, from the tippy top of my head to the bottom bottom of my feet. Sick to death of the Phillies and their Phans and their Pharrogance and their everything.

And how stupid does Carlos Beltran look now, after foolishly opening his yap early this past season and pronouncing that the Mets are the "team to beat?" Man, if Carlos was standing right in front of me....I'd slap the shit out of him, too.

Because face it, folks -- the Mets simply have no heart. They have no fight, no get up and go, no drive, no ambition... no nothing.

But if I were the Met organization, based upon what I've been hearing over the past few weeks, and how there's so much hating on the Mets apparently going on all over the league, I'd use it as major motivation for next year. Remember 1986? Yeah, the team EVERYONE, except the fans, hated. And look what happened. I know, we can't compare the two, but I'm just sayin' (as my good buddy Coop often says)....

So I vote that the Met Motto of 2009 be "Bring on the hate!"

As If Mets Fans Need ANOTHER Reason To Be Pissed Off...

...evidence the career and the success of one Scott Kazmir. Remember him, Mets fans? Now, I know he didn't win the game last night, but that's beside the point.

It really pains me to write this post, because I swore up and down that I would NEVER mention his name again vis a vis the Mets, because, frankly, I am sick and tired of listening to what seems to be every single Mets fan bring up the Kazmir for Zambrano trade ad nauseum as if it were a reason for breathing, or living, or hating, or anything.

But, alas, I find I must, at least once, revisit the trade, because it's so emblematic of what's gone on in past days with the Mets organization. Listening to the wrong people, making snap judgments, trading away the future for the present, and not even doing it smartly, logically, reasonably or in any way intelligently.

It's like the Old Boys Network... literally, which is what Mets fans inevitably end up with. The Old Boys Network.

Hmmm.... come to think of it, that's as fitting of a moniker as anything else for the Mets teams of the past ten years or so. The Old Boys Network.

Perhaps that's what Fred and Jeff should have used as a name for their network.

Well, So Far This Offseason....

Not much has happened on the Met homefront, but a couple of things are worth noting.

For one, the Phillies have earned the right to play in the Fall Classic, having soundly defeated both the Brewers and the Dodgers. And somehow, seem to still have the Mets and Jose Reyes on the brain. For the life of me, I just don't understand why they continue to need the Mets and Reyes for motivation. Or do they, really? Is there perhaps a tad of reverse psychology in play here? A continuing piss-off factor for the Mets and their fans?

I don't know, but what I DO know is that for the second year, the Phillies have won the NL East, both years overcoming late-season Met leads to do so.

Food for thought.

And here's some food for non-thought - Alex Rodriguez and Madonna. That's a real "ew" in my book, and I suspect in many people's books. Madonna and her hubby, Guy Ritchie, today announced their plans to divorce, and rumor has it that she and A Rod are "closer than ever," whatever that means.

Just another chapter in the continuing saga of A Rod and his weirdness.

I still believe all of these women are A Rod's consolation prizes vis a vis his crush on Derek Jeter, but hey, that's just me!

I'm still wondering what the Met bullpen will look like next year. And whether or not Carlos Delgado will still be a member of the team. God, I hope not. I know many of you will disagree with me, but I think a turnover of the locker room leadership is a necessity at this point. We have to find out if Wright and/or Reyes (probably Wright, as I don't see Jose as a leader type) can be the type of leader the team sorely needs. I'd rather find that out now than later, thank you very much.

I wonder if Luis Castillo has begun packing up in preparation for the move that is undoubtedly going to come.

I wonder if Willie Randolph is still laughing his ass off at the same old late season crappy Met finish. Listen, I was no big fan of Willie's, but at the time he was fired, I said that I did not think that in the end, the problem with the Mets was solely Willie, and that appears to indeed be the case.

I wonder if we're really going to miss Shea Stadium. It's kind of sad to see the pics of the old girl being dismantled, piece by piece.

And I hope wherever that stupid apple is, it gets lost - permanently. Hee, hee hee!

Reflections....

Now that some time has passed since the Second Annual Met Collapse, I thought I'd share a few of my thoughts, in completely random order.

I was thinking the other day about Carlos Beltran having shot off his mouth about how the Mets were the team to beat in 2008, and I remember saying, at the time, that considering what's happened since he's been here, and his own hand in it all, I thought that his statement was a little ridiculous and a tad premature, especially since the Phillies were the reigning NL East Champions, irregardless of how they laid down and died in the NLDS last year.

So I was just thinking about that, in general, and wondering the identity of the next Met to shoot off his mouth and look like a horse's ass sooner or later.

I was also thinking about how pissed off I am, in general, and more specifically, about Omar's new contract. And maybe even Jerry's. I just can't wrap my head around the retaining of Omar, considering some of the boneheaded things he's done lately, like bringing back Moises Alou, giving Luis Castillo a four-year deal, failing to help the bullpen when others helped theirs, and honestly, because of the collapse the last two years.

Now, I like Jerry Manuel, he's fun, he's hip, he's cool, he wears nifty glasses, and he even seems to have the support of the players, which on this team, is no small feat, I suspect. But he's been around during the past few years, and has been through the collapses, and frankly, I'd like to see the Mets go into a new stadium with a nice fresh start, and some fresh faces.

And here's to hoping Tony Bernazard gets that GM job with Seattle. He seems like a little twerpy blowhard and a control freak, often times rumored to be a "bad guy," and that's the last thing the Mets need is a bad guy. Or another bad guy, as the case may be.

And the more I follow this team, the more I come to realize what shitty owners the Wilpons are. They seem to put image and money before winning, and don't seem to understand that you can have them all. Is it because they're too stupid, or because they just don't care? And does it really matter, if the end result is the same?

I think it was somebody on metsblog.com that had an interesting piece the other day about closers, and how the big money guys aren't necessarily the biggest winners. I've been thinking about the closer and the closer role a lot since Billy Wagner went down, and I think rather than going out and getting one of the big boy closers, if I were the Mets, I might develop one in house. I've always thought that teams could and should develop closers in house more often, and if the Mets have the intelligence and wherewithal to find a guy within their organization who has the stuff and mental makeup to fill the role, well... why not?

I still don't want Delgado here next year. Or Castillo. I want a real left fielder (see below), and a decent bullpen. One that, you know, can get three outs without giving up more runs than outs once in a while.

And Manny can be Manny all he wants... on the New York Mets next year.

I don't want the old apple displayed anywhere prominent in CitiField. It's a relic, and should be relegated to relic status.

I can't lie -- this year really, REALLY stings. Maybe even more than last year. Because we're a team built to win now, and have basically reached the end of the line with some of the players acquired for the purpose of winning, and we've run out of excuses for failing to make the postseason. So now, it's put up or shut up. And I mean that. I don't want to hear any excuses or any other crap from anyone associated with the Mets. I don't want explanations or caveats. I don't want to hear how close we were, and how we "battled."

It's going to be an interesting off-season, I think.

Wake The F*ck Up, Jerry....

...and sign that deal before they offer it to someone NOT named Jerry Manuel. I mean, really, what does he think he's going to get? Listen, I like Jerry -- he's fun, he's good with the press, he seems to have a decent rapport with the players -- but the bottom line is, face it -- he's no Joe Torre. Or Lou Piniella. Or Terry Francona. Or even Dusty Baker, whom I loathe, for the record.

I thought today it might be fun to speculate on who we Mets fans would hire as manager if we had our druthers. And man, does saying that date me... but anyway, and assuming I can pick anybody I want whether or not it's realistic or feasible or logical, here are some of my choices.

Paul O'Neill, for one. Yes, the hated Met killer Paul O'Neill, who has often said that the single greatest thrill of his career was beating the Mets in the 2000 World Series. That Paul O'Neill, the one who hated, I mean, HATED, making an out. Any out. Any time. Any game. That Paul O'Neill, one of the biggest modern-day gamers I've seen lately.

And right now, he's sitting in the YES broadcast booth/studio, probably scratching his ass, thinking maybe he can still play, maybe he can contribute... and he can. Only I propose he do it for the Mets.

Or maybe Lee Mazzilli. Yeah, I think he's a prick. A dude with a 'tude. A guy who won't give a shit who likes him, or who doesn't. He has that New York kind of arrogance and belief in himself that the Mets sorely lack.

And face it, folks, we gotta get him out of the studio. His strange facial expressions and inappropriate grimaces have led me and DingoMets to nickname him "Yankenstein" in the past, in fact. So it's a win-win; he wakes up the Mets, and we get him and his Yankenstein act out of the studio.

Or how about the first manager by committee team? We can get Jerry, who's fun, gangsta, good with the press, liked by players, to be the kind of fun guy, the press dude, the daddy dude. Then we can put either O'Neill or Mazzilli out there to be the tough guy, the henchman, the straight and narrow guy. And then, maybe we can get Bobby Valentine (yikes! did I just suggest B.V. anywhere near the team? I hated him when he was Mets manager, didn't I? DIDN'T I?) But Deb, hear yourself out. For Bobby V is nothing if not a baseball head, a geek of a sorts, in some ways, an innovator and a maverick, and if we take all three, we have something pretty close to what the Mets need in a manager.

Kind of brings to mind the mythical hydra, the seven-headed monster, and although we've only put faces on three of the heads, I figure that the four extra heads leave room at the top in case anybody really fucks up. Or, if we give Omar Minaya a head and Buck Showalter a head (yep, I'm still on the Show Me Showalter for GM bandwagon), we still have two available heads in case as I said, somebody fucks up...

OR... simply hire one woman, since, after all, the women of the world are used to wearing and juggling so many hats...

I like it, I really like it.

My End Of The Season "Thank You" List...

...yeah, that's right, you read it right. I actually have some "thank yous" to write despite the disastrous ending to yet another Met season.

And they are, in no particular order:

First, a big thank you to Coop, DingoMets, Joe Janish, Metstradamus, Rickey Henderson, and many others for helping me with the blog, both in the setup, and the contributions. Without all of you, and each of you, it would have been difficult, if not impossible, to get the blog up and running, and continuing it, and you have all been an inspiration and a God-given gift to me. I want you to know how much you are all appreciated.

And to all those who helped, and contributed, and commented, whom I didn't mention, please know that I appreciate each and every one of you, and look forward to every day on the blog, sometimes in spite of what our favorite team is doing at the time. Sometimes because of, but mostly in spite of; at least, this past year!

Second, thank you Gary, Ron and Keith. If it weren't for you three, Mets baseball this past season might have truly been unbearable and unwatchable. Gary, you are a consummate professional, both in your preparation and in your delivery. For my money, there isn't a better play-by-play guy, nor a more informed and prepared one, anywhere. Ron, you are brilliant, simply brilliant, and manage to convey the nuances of pitching and of the game in general without sounding condescending and over-the-head of the average Joe Baseball Watcher. Keith, what can one say about you, Keith? The phrase "I'm Keith Hernandez!" is simply perfect, for you are nothing if not yourself. Your irreverent, comical, down-to-earth, truth-be-told style is constantly refreshing and entertaining, and your slice-of-life relationship with the New York fans is truly a lovefest.

I strongly believe the three of you will be in the broadcaster's wing of the Hall of Fame one day.

Third, thank you to Fernando Tatis, Angel Pagan, Nelson Figueroa and Ryan Church, to name a few, for leaving it all out there. Fernando, you were simply magnificent, and a joy to watch. Angel, we lost you too soon. Nelson, I'll never forget your family piled high above the field at Shea, in Billy Wagner's box in your first start, a truly magical one, cheering you on and bringing back memories of what many of us have felt is the true essence of fandom. Ryan, you were a brave soldier, and gave us much hope for the future.

Fourth, a special thank you to Johan Santana. You truly deserve the Cy Young Award this year, as well as the Met MVP. You are a true ace, a true animal (and I mean that in the best of ways), a true competitor with few equals in this day and age of baseball. I truly look forward to your future as a Met, and hope that you are able to capture the ultimate prize while a member of this team.

And finally, thank you, Shea Stadium. Your past glory will never be forgotten, and my memories of you will live in my heart forever. You will always be great in my book.