Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Where Were We....

...when we last left off?

Oh yeah; the Mets sucked.

And they still do.

So I guess what I missed in the interim between blogposts was same old/same old, and more of it.

A bit overly simplistic fer ya? How complicated do you need it to be? Sometimes, it is just that simple. They suck, period, end of story. And what really bugs me isn't so much that they are losing, which is pretty understandable due to the fact that three of our four "stars" are MIA, two of the four MIA for quite some time now. Nay, 'tis not the problem. The problem lies in the shoddy, uninspired, insipid, boring, flat, tired, play of what's left of this team, and I continue to marvel anew each and every day over the lack of execution of even the most basic of baseball fundamentals, which is only surpassed by my daily marvel at how little the team seems to care how badly it sucks.

And David Wright is still mouthing cliches through it all, which is somewhat maddening, head scratching and fairly amusing at the same time. And as far as I'm concerned, so much for Wright As Leader proponents...this guy couldn't lead a squirrel to an acorn. Even if it were an inch from its nose.

Bottom line, kiddies? As Kurtis Blow once said (and boy, do they blow!)...these are the breaks.... BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP! Please, oh, please, somebody....ANYbody...dismantle this pathetic mess. They're simply unwatchable, which is why I haven't been. Watching, that is. Or blogging, as my one-half reader has probably noticed.

So in that happy fucking spirit, here's my little rewrite of the Blow ditty:

Clap your hands everybody
If you got what it takes
Cause we all know, that the Mets, they blow,
And these are the breaks...

Brakes on a bus brakes on a car
Breaks don't make Dave a superstar
Mets don't win, Mets just lose
And Mets fans, they just get the blues...

And these are the breaks
Break 'em up, break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP!

If Delgado don't come back this year
(That's the breaks that's the breaks)
And Jose Reyes, status unclear,
And Jerry Manuel, well, he wants to chat,
And he can't explain why he played that cat...

And Freddie Boy sends you a bill
For tickets that don't give you no thrill
And you borrowed money from your pop
Just so's you could watch this slop

Well, these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!

Throw your hands up in the sky
And wave 'em 'round from side to side
And if you deserve a break tonight
Somebody say alright!

(All right) Say ho-oo!

(Ho-oo!) And you don't stop

Keep on, somebody scream!

(Owwwww!) Break down!

Breaks on a stage, breaks on a screen
The Mets, they make your wallet lean
The Mets run cold, and you run hot
And breaks is something you ain't got

But these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!!!

Break down!

To the boys in blue, what's wrong wit chu?
(Break 'em up, break 'em up)
To the boys in blue, whatcha gonna do?
To the boys in blue, I'm tired a you!
To the boys is blue, a big f*** you!

Break down!

Brakes on a plane, brakes on a train
The Mets just make you go insane
Breaks in love, breaks in war
We got no breaks, we never score!

And these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!!!!

Break down! Yo!

Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!

You say last week they played so well
(That's the breaks, that's the breaks)
And then it all went straight to hell
They promised us the stars in the sky
And instead, all we got to do is cry

Well, these are the breaks!

Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!

Break down.......