And The Big Pussy Pick of the Week Goes To...

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 New...York...METS!!!!

From Omar Minaya on down to the clubhouse boy, this team has shown the most pathetic display of sportsmanship and professionalism and just overall loafed their way onto another week-long road trip. While the home stand could have been a lot worse (losing two total games - one to the Braves, the other to the Bucs while winning three), the Mets showed they were all suffering from vaginitis from Tuesday evening's game from about the 4th inning all the way until the 9th inning today.

And the reason being...(drum roll, please)...

It rained.

Are you fucking kidding me???

So where do we begin?

First, with the "Ace" Johan Santana. I use the term "ace" loosely as a guy who is .500 for the month of April, has shown not one reason why Philip Humber or Carlos Gomez should have been traded for him and has a propensity of giving up the long ball. To two guys. On the Pirates. At Shea Stadium. Need I remind you about Shea's "pitcher friendly" dimensions? I mean, isn't that the reason we got this guy? I know, he'll snap out of it. But right now here's what I hear from his less-than-dominating-performance. Oh, did I mention it was against the Pirates?

WAH! I was supposed to start on Monday. WAH! I missed a day! WAH! It throws off my schedule!! WAH! It was cold!!!! WAH! I've only pitched indoors!! WAH! WAH!

WAAAAAAHH!!!!

Stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!!!

Next is Duaner Sanchez. Now, to lump Ol' Dirty into the BPPOW is like, well, kicking a BP when he's down. But his 28-year old, car-accident-banged-up-Dirty-Sanchez shoulder has arthritis.

WAH! It was cold!!! WAH! My arthritis was acting up! WAH!!!

(OK, I feel bad about picking on Dirty, but he gave up a run. To the Pirates.)

Hey, at least Aaron Heilman didn't blow the game. But man, he did make it interesting. But something touching happened on the field that I wish to share with you. At one point when the fans were getting restless (it was a long-ass game, it was cold, it was a TUESDAY), Carlos Delgado AND David Wright went over to Aaron and consoled him. Why? Because this is what Aaron said...

WAH!!!

Yeah, you got that. Wah, crybaby bitch. Of course, two of the biggest pussies on the team go over to him.

Yes, because we ALL need help from Carlos Delgado.

WAH!!! Fuck you Jobu! I do it myself...oh wait. I'm old and can't HGH anymore. WAH!!!

David Wright is no exception, either. He could have made the game a little easier for us on Tuesday. And yes he did drive in the winning run. But noooooo...he decided to make us f'ing fans (his words, reportedly, not mine) wait in the cold. Like him. Because he's a big pussy.

WAH!!!

But that's not all. It could get much worse and boy...did it ever. Mr. Ollie Hyde showed up today, as opposed to Dr. Oliver Jekyll Perez. I guess his supporting cast in the infield, Big Pussy 3 and Big Pussy 4 (or aka Delgado and Luis Castillo...get it?? They are identified by their numeric position on the field??? Ain't I clever?) decide to fuck the game up for him.

And we all know what happens there. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

WAH!!!! Give up 7 runs. WAH!! The rain threw me off! WAH!! WAH!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

What a bunch of sorry ass pussies. But wait...there's more.

Since Omar Minaya can't get out of the crushing contract that he thought he "stole" from the Marlins on Fat-Ass Delgado, we are stuck with him. Until, you know, Minaya decides to exercise his option.

WAH! He's my friend!

Next is Willie Randolph, who is such a pussy with the vets in the clubhouse, that the young stars like Jose Reyes just don't play for him anymore.

WAH!! These are my guys!!

And finally the bat boys. I don't know why - I just feel like picking on them.

WAH!!!!

So rejoice, Mets fans. We root for a bunch of pussies.

So until next week, Metties, take your Massengill, and shut the fuck up already.

But to us fans...It could be worse.

Nah, it really couldn't be.

Here's to May 1 being the start of a "new" season.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE OLLIE!!!

THE GOOD

We scored a run!!!! WOOHOOOOOO!!!!

Oh, and Delgado got a hit!!!

And Aaron with 2 scoreless innings.

And finally, our team ERA shouldn't take too much of a hit, since we only gave up 4 earned runs!!!

THE BAD

Reyes 0-4

Castillo 0-5

Wright 0-2

Beltran 0-2

Pagan 0-2

Molina 0-2

The defense... The hitting... The pitching... The water main break... Pretty much everything sucked noodles today!!!

THE OLLIE

I think SOMEBODY forgot what team he's supposed to be pitching for!!!

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE METS WIN!!!!!

THE GOOD

Solid outing by Johan... Reyes on base 6 times.... Endy with a real nice game at the plate and in the field... Nice job by Schoeneweis to bail out Heilman... Ryan Church continues to be great at the plate!!

THE BAD

Probably the worst outing we've seen this year from Duaner... Johan only able to go 5 2/3 innings... Reyes with a LAZY error in the 9th that allowed the tying run to score... And, the team continues to suck noodles with RISP, going 1-10 (I believe) last night...

The Rangers lost.... AAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHH... Have I mentioned lately how much I hate the freakin' Penguins!!!!

THE METS WIN!!!!

YEAH DAVID!!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!

News Flash...This Just In.....

Flushing, N.Y. -- Citing an “a continuing inability to please the fans, regardless of what we do,” earlier this afternoon, the New York Mets announced the signings of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens.

Jeff Wilpon, speaking on behalf of the organization, said the following: “Look, it’s clear that we need some pitching and a big bopper. And we just can’t have guys like Nelson Figueroa getting all the cheers, and the rest of the team getting all the boos. It’s really not fair to all our veteran players. And speaking of veterans, we figured, what the hell, we have so many on the team already, we might as well sign some more, and expand our ever-increasing list of players who can potentially spend a great deal of the season on the DL. And, you know, Moises needs company. Plus, since the fans have gotten so attached to booing, we figured, what better players to sign than Bonds and Clemens? Two guys with obviously checkered pasts, and now with all the new stuff going on surrounding Clemens, the fans should have plenty to boo about all season long. We’re just trying to keep our fans happy, you know?”

“Hey, these moves are not only good for the team, but for me, personally,” stated Carlos Delgado, when asked for comment on the signings. “It will take the fans' focus away from me, and if anyone deserves the boos, Bonds and Clemens do,” he snickered.

And, according to the team’s perennial All-Star third baseman, David Wright: “At first, I told them 'don’t do it, don’t do it,' but then I thought, why not? Bonds and Clemens will make quite the additions to the team. For one thing, Mets fans hate them, and for awhile, anyway, all the booing will be directed at those two. And if the fans don’t like it, well, as I have been known to say, 'F the fans!'”

We attempted to interview some of the fans at Shea Stadium but our crew was resoundingly booed off the grounds after having shown up in Carlos Delgado, Aaron Heilman and Scctt Schoeneweis team gear.

(Note: Any resemblance to actual persons is deliberate, and any resemblance to reality is denied.)

A Couple Of Thoughts On This Dreary Day.....

... starting with the fact that, of course, me, you and everybody on the planet with even a passing interest in their local team HATES rainouts! For some reason, they really disrupt the daily rhythm of in-season life, don't they? Arrggghhh....!!!!

Anyway, didja hear that Barry Zito, the $126 Million Man, has been demoted to the bullpen? Demoted, huh, is that what they call it? Last I heard, he's still good for $126 million.... of course, I'm just kidding... sort of! But the fact of the matter is, Barry Zito has been arguably one of the Worst Free Agent Acquisitions In The Last Few Years, and yes, I do mean that with the capital letters, that's how badly this thing turned out for the Giants and Barry. NOT Bonds... but come to think of it, things haven't turned out so well for him, either, but let's get back to the Zito, and not the Bonds. Mr. Zito, thought of as the "big prize" of the 2007 class of free agency, has done little more than perform as a journeyman pitcher would, and looks nothing like the ace SF thought they were getting. Of course, let us remember that many Mets fans panted long and hard after Barry (Zito, ZITO!), and we should be happier than clams in a shell that Omar did not share that, uh, enthusiasm for Barry Lite.

And what's with Schneider's infected thumb? Almost four days in the hospital???? I don't know, something tells me things were a tad more serious than we were being told.

And as for Moises Alou, now it appears he may have a broken ankle. Of course, I haven't checked around yet this morning, but gee willikers, folks, if it weren't for injuries, it wouldn't be Moises Alou, and this is yet another in his long laundry list of them, which have permeated what probably would have or could have been a Hall of Fame caliber career. Whether or not he'll even be back this year is seriously in question, at least, in my mind, it is.

Of course, what's really strange about the whole thing is that apparently, the injury occurred while he was rehabbing ANOTHER injury for which he started the year on the DL. This would almost be funny, except it isn't, and I have to wonder what the hell happened, how it happened, and whether we'll ever really know.

Now, onto the Pirates.... the X Man Cometh!

Just When You Think....

....everybody's full of shit, the unexpected happens.

And what do I mean by the unexpected? Well, if I told you this morning that one of the following three things would happen, which would you have considered the LEAST likely:

1. Peace in the Middle East;
2. Abraham Lincoln rising from the dead and entering the 2008 Presidential race; or
3. Carlos Delgado hitting two home runs.

Yeah, I know, tough choice, but of the three, I'd have given the first two options a much bigger chance of actually occurring than I would have the third.

Well, blow me down, as my ol' buddy Popeye used to say. Just blow me down, blow me over, and hit me with that foam finger... because today, Carlos Delgado became himself, all over again.

If that don't beat all.

And of course, the spinach on the Popeye is taking two of three from our perennial division rival, the Barves.

And the wilt on the spinach is, of course, Delgado's failure to come out for a big blue curtain call, and the speculation that our very own "Mr. Met" David Wright urged him not to do so. That he said something that was either "don't do it" or "f**k the fans."

Now, I don't know, but to me, but even if one is reading lips, I would guess that "don't do it" and "f**k the fans" look very very different, and I would think it would be very easy to tell the difference.

Unless, of course, it's all the stuff of urban legend... and since I didn't see the game due to circumstances beyond my control (I had an outside the house obligation which did not include a television or radio), I have to leave it up to you folks to clue me in, so if any of you saw what D.W. actually said, speak now or forever hold your..... well, hold your something.

I will say that one day's performance does not a season make, but it's a good start, and although it isn't peace in the Middle East or a presidential candidate that doesn't make us retch and run for the bathroom, it wasn't bad; it surely wasn't bad.

As for the nonexistent curtain call, now that I think about it, I guess Carlos Delgado gave Mets fans one big foam finger, straight to the heart. Very fitting for Foam Finger Day.

Overall, though, good day, good weekend for Mets fans!

I've Got a Finger For You.....

So tomorrow is Foam Finger day at Shea, huh?

Well, boys, I've got a finger for you, and it ain't foam, and it ain't cute, and it ain't meant in a very nice way, either.

Kinda reminds me of the Celebrity Jeopardy segments on SNL, where Darryl Hammond/Sean Connery taunts Will Ferrell/Alex Trebek..... just picture Darry/Sean saying to Will/Alex in that exaggerated Scottish brogue - "Hey, Trebek, I've got a finger for you...." heh heh heh. And Will/Alex, just shaking his head, and wondering wtf he's still doing there, with this bunch of idiots.

That's the only image that comes to mind right now. I feel like Trebek, wondering what I'm still doing here, with this bunch of idiots.

I've got a finger for you....... lol.

Do You Think That Today, We Could Get....

... three hits instead of two? I figure if we add a hit each day, by the end of the week, we'll be getting ten hits per game, and then if we keep going, well... you get the idea, lol.

So how about it, folks? Let's root for one more hit each day than the day before! Can I get a boo-yah on that?

So how many of you stuck around for the end of the Three Up And Three Down Mets Brigade last night? Our guys (or should I say, more correctly, "Willie's Guys" *snicker*) don't even look fairly interested at the plate. They look fairly bored, which is what this Mets fan feels watching them play.... fairly bored, fairly aggravated, fairly disinterested. Shit trickles down, boys, and it sure has, at least for this fan.

And oh, by the way -- Harold Reynolds knows nothing about the Mets. NOTHING. And he showed it during his debut on SNY last evening. The one interesting contribution he had to the broadcast was the breaking down of Carlos Delgado at the plate, and the "double kick" difference from 2006 to the present. See, Carlos, now all you gotta do is lift the leg once, and not tap it twice. Reynolds opined that perhaps Carlos can't get the high leg kick due to a hip injury of some sort, or a hip degeneration, but the only degeneration that might be taking place in that sentence has been to Reynolds' reputation.... sorry, folks, couldn't resist that one, it was just toooo easy.

Which is something the Mets hitting hasn't been lately.

So let's root for three hits today, adding one more than we got yesterday, and take it slowly....

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly... Girlie Style!

THE GOOD

Don't the guys look lovely in their uniforms this year? And how about Carlos Beltran's facial hair? Dreaaaaaamy. And that David Wright's got about the cutest patootie out there!

THE BAD

Well, they do LOOK good. And as us girls know, if you look good, you feel good, and that's bound to carry over onto the field. Right, girls? So let's give 'em all a great big smoochie-poo, and send 'em off to battle the big bad opposing teams!

And we can't forget to put Dingo Ding Dong on the bad list, girls, now can we, for being a tad late in posting The GBU today. Bad, bad, Ding Dong, bad, bad boy!

THE UGLY

Our pretty boys simply aren't playing that well, now, are they? And pretty little girly man Aaron Heilman, the big pussy that he is, couldn't even get us girls out right now, probably. Hey Willie, us girls think Dirty Sanchez with the deep, soulful eyes must be the eighth-inning go-to guy, and we surely hope you agree with us.

THE REALLY PRETTY

And aren't our heading colors really pretty today?

Chutley And The Mets...It's A Sad, Sad, Song

As if it weren't bad enough we just have to face him when we play Philly, folks, it has just come to my attention that Chase Utley, a/k/a "Chutley" has as many home runs as the entire Mets team. And the number is ten folks -- TEN. And this is, what, well into the fourth week of the season? That puts us right smack in the unenviable position of being 28th in the major leagues in team home runs. Read it and weep, guys and gals. That's a whopping average of 2.5 per week for Chutley, and 2.5 per week for the entire Mets team. Give or take a point there, but seriously, at this piss poor power showing, who the hell is counting????

And what's even sadder is that David Wright has four of the ten. That's 40%, in case you were wondering. 40% of the paltry ten home runs this team has hit thus far this year.

As if the economy and the recession and some say oncoming depression weren't enough, now we have to face the fact that the Mets have simply no power, zero, zip, zilch, nada. None.

Maybe as good a reason as any as to why the team has gotten off to a... sluggish start.

And here are the major power frauds as of today: Carlos Delgado and Carlos Beltran.

I've got my eyes on you, boys. And you know what that means!

THE GOOD, THE Bad, The Not-So-UGLY...

THE GOOD


THE METSIES WIN!!!


Johan pitched a solid game, other than probably losing a little focus on one bad pitch to Tim Redding...


ALL ABOARD THE B-TRAIN.... Or, is that Bel-TRON (God, I HATE ESPN!!!)...

Heck, even Delsucko managed to hit the ball solidly a couple of times last night..

Church continues to rake, and makes the Milledge trade look less and less silly...

Speaking of Milledge and silly, that's what Johan and Wags made him look like a few times last night...

DIRTY SANCHEZ!!! Great outing for him, and hopefully we'll be seeing more and more of him (and less and less of Droopy) in the late innings...



Wagner has still not allowed a single hit against him all year...

PRINCE FIELDER!!! Beat them Phoolies!!!

Braves lose again!

And, the BEST of all, was that I was able to watch the postgame show last night, and there was no YANKENSTEIN on it!!!!

THE BAD

Reyes with a godawful night at the plate...

And, not for nothing... Delgado comes up with Church on 3rd and nobody out... I turn to my brother and say "I call a popout by Delgado"... Literally 3 seconds later and, well, y'all saw it...

THE UGLY

Any and all attempts by the Washington Nationals to play defense last night!!!

"Dear Mami And Papi:" A Letter Home From Carlos

Deb’s Note: For years now, Carlos Delgado has had his “little black book;” a book as familiar to Mets fans as are Carlos’ continuing struggles offensively and defensively last year and thus far this year. Did you ever wonder what he writes in that little book? I would imagine he notes his success, or lack thereof, against any particular pitcher, and pitching patterns, and home runs, and strikeouts, or some or all of these. And did you ever wonder, lately, why he’s not consulting the book as much, or writing in it nearly as much as we’ve seen him do in the past? And what if he’s just writing letters home? Like, say, this one, found in his locker sometime during last season:

Dear Mami and Papi:

Hi, it’s your son, Carlos, again, coming to you from that dumpy place they call Shea Stadium. Ay yi yi, mami, they call this a major league park? You gotta see this place! It’s this big round ugly thing painted this bright royal blue color, you know, mami, like that dress you wore to the last Cinco de Mayo….. There are junkyards all over which are full of lots of shiny stuff, most of which I think is car parts, but around here, who knows?

And just try hitting home runs here, madre de dios! It’s enough to make your boy have big, blue nightmares and wake up shaking at night! I don’t know, mami and papi, I’m starting to think that the best thing about this place is that after next year, I won’t be here any more. No more big blue nightmares; no more fans booing poor Carlos…… ah, paradisio! Back to someplace where they love your Carlos, and Carlos can love them back. Nowadays, with the way things are going, I’m afraid they’re going to lynch me or shoot me on the way out of here. And that’s just my teammates I’m talking about!!! Don’t even get me started on the fans…… caramba! That’s a whole different story for another letter home.

We got a couple of new guys. Well one is an old guy (not old, like that Julio Franco they finally got rid of), I mean, old as in he was here before. His name is Marlon Anderson, and he’s got a lot of the Ray Charles thing going on. He’s not blind or anything, but he’s got that smile and he moves his head around kind of like Ray did… if they ever do his bobblehead, they’re going to have lots of trouble getting that head thing right… heh heh heh. And we got this old guy (now this guy IS old, like in the Julio Franco sense) named Jeff Conine, who they call the “Barbarian;” I don’t know, mami and papi, I don’t know if I like playing with a guy who’s a barbarian, I mean, New York is bad enough without adding more barbarians. *Carlos shaking head here*

And then there’s this new guy Lastings Milledge, who nobody understands. *Sigh* KIDS, mami and papi, what can you do? He’s playing good enough, I guess, and last night the only thing that saved your Carlos from more boos was that Lastings looked worse at the plate! So, I guess I like him !

And this bullpen, mami! These guys couldn’t even get me out, which right now, is a pretty easy thing, I have to say. But hey, you know what, mami and papi? I’m still making more money than a small Caribbean nation. So Carlos is still smiling, wide.

The team is still in first place, and Beltran is finally doing something to earn his money. Right now, he’s making your Carlos look bad, but hey, I still have Lastings to make me look better, right? But Beltran is hitting the cover off the ball right now; I’m hoping he gets another one of his “injuries” *rolls eyes* and can’t play anymore, pussy that he is. Hey, check this out – there’s a couple of girls on this new website that call Beltran “Shirley.” Yeah, like a little girlie man, you got it, mami! Ha ha ha…. Yeah, it’s funny, right? So maybe they’ll leave your Carlos a little bit alone… they really don’t seem to like Beltran very much. And psst, mami and papi, I’ll tell you a little secret – neither does your Carlos! And I hear the team is actually thinking of moving me down in the batting order just ‘cause I’m in a little slump because of that pussy Beltran; they want him “protected.” I got some protection for you, pendejo pussy man Beltran! Heh heh heh….

Oh, and that guy Glavine won his 300th game not too long ago. Big deal, right? Yeah, that’s what I think. He’s a pitcher; who cares about them? Everybody knows that hitters are the real men. Right?

Like that Guillermo Mota, ay, mami! He’s the pitching version of your Carlos this year. Yes, mami, he can’t get anybody out, probably not even your Carlos. Which, as I said before, is not too hard right now. Ha ha ha. But he is laughing too, because, you know what, mami and papi? He did a very bad thing last year, and still got a two-year contract from this stupid team, ay yi yi, who says life isn’t funny, eh? So Guillermo is still smiling, wide.

Ok, I gotta go now and take batting practice. Willie (you remember that guy I told you about, our manager? Remember him?) thinks I need it, hrmphf, like he would know, he never hit like your Carlos hit in his entire career! Ay, these managers…. And he was a second baseman…. He just doesn’t understand *shakes head.*

So, bye bye for now, I send you kisses and hugs and love from your Carlos!

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLYUGLY!!!

THE GOOD

Well, to the best of my knowledge, nobody got hurt yesterday...

THE BAD

Delgado didn't get hurt yesterday.

THE UGLY

Delgado trying to field the damn ball!!!

And The Big Pussy Pick Of The Week Goes To...

Welcome to the BP Pick of the Week!! This is a new segment here at GBU Mets (well, since this blog is a week old, everything will be relatively "new" here for awhile anyway).

Since this Mets team is riddled with players who regularly get vaginitis and yeast infections - why not honor them with a posting every week?

And the winner this week is...The one, the only...Aaron Heilman.

After all, how fitting is it that the pussy who inspired Coop's Big Pussy's Posse would get the inaugural weekly award. What can I say about one-half of the heart attack brigade in the bullpen (the other half: Jorge Sosa, who is sure to make this list one day or another) that hasn't already been said?

How about, making things "interesting" game in and game out. You are getting paid to get outs in the later innings, Aaron. Throw strikes and when I say strikes, I mean strikes and not meatballs down the middle of the plate, begging to be slammed out of the park.

The icing on the cake was giving up a two-run single to 8th-spot hitting Ronnie Cedeno in the bottom of the 8th against the Cubs Monday night. Madon', why? It's a recurring theme with BP. Yadier Molina anyone? SHEESH. Of course, John Maine left the game with the loss, but of course that takes the pressure off Pussy, opening the floodgates. Hooray. Coupled with a Jorge Sosa melt-down, Mets lose and lose big.

So congrats! The Coop managed to sit down with BP's POW and here is what we said.

COOP: Aaron, what do you have to say about being bestowed with the very first BP Honor at GBU?

BP: Well, Coop, I have to say thanks, thanks for the honor. I was a little pissed off that you took me off the list to begin with - and when you made Pedro Martinez the President of the Posse, I thought - I can't get a starting role on the team AND I can't even stay as a charter member of the club I helped to found! Life so isn't fair.

COOP: No, it isn't Aaron.

Tune in next week for the second BP POW, ya hear?

NOTE: GBU Mets is not affiliated with in any way, shape or form with the New York Mets. In fact, anything remotely resembling a reputable website/blog is misrepresenting our mission here at GBU entirely. And for the record, Jay Horwitz would never allow us to interview Aaron Heilman for a Big Pussy Award. So there.

(AND, BE SURE TO VISIT Coop's First Home, My Summer Family, and check out her rant on Willie and the team.)

I Just Can't Take It Anymore....

....get Laverne Delgado off the f***ing field.

As if it isn't bad enough he's not doing spit at the plate (and hasn't since he got a few hits during the first few games of the season), he's now making costly errors on defense, and he's become a serious liability to the team.

Willie, if you're reading, please explore other options for first base until Laverne manages to get his bat, and his defense, going.

Who's with me out there????????

(And just for good measure, this here's the link to my post on the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality of this team. It's certainly showing its ugly Hyde self again, ain't it, folks? Looks like I'd better be keeping this link handy!)

THE GOOD... THE BAD... THE PUGFUGLY!!!

THE GOOD

Johnny Maine with a nice start last night... On a bigger basis, since I've been a slacker lately, the pitching has been very good lately, and Jose JOSE JOSE JOSE Reyes has been coming around and playing MUCH better lately (yesterday's error notwithstanding)...

THE BAD

Loss last night to the Cubbies, though with Zambrano on the mound and dealing like he was, it's not THAT rough a loss...

Gotta question why Willie messed with the lineup and moved Church back down and Castillo back up... Seemed to be clicking well the other way around...

THE UGLY

The Carlos-"boys" (we'll use that term lightly here!!)... Or, as we love to call 'em:













EXTRA-SPECIAL GOOD

Just for you Deb...

LET'S GO RANGERS!!!!!!!

Mr. Hanky Is Cranky....

No, not THAT Mr. Hanky, but close....

I'm talking, of course, about "Mr. Hanky" Steinbrenner, he of the Yankee Steinbrenners. And apparently, Mr. Hanky's a liiiiitle cranky over the use, or as he calls it, the MISuse, of one Joba Chamberlain. It appears as if Mr. Hanky feels that Mr. Joba ought to be in the starting rotation, and should have been there already, and that a "mistake" was made and needs to be rectumfied. Yes, kiddies, I did say rectumfied!

It seems as everyone in the world except for Mr. Hanky knew that the Yankee starting pitching staff was a little weak going into the season, and this here blogger has mentioned on more than one occasion her surprise that Mr. Hanky and the Yankees didn't push harder for Mr. Santana, or King Johan, as he is fondly known in other baseball circles, like in Queens, for example. Some of us thought it a little... strange... at the very least that the Yankees let the biggest free agent prize in many a year simply go elsewhere in favor of a pair of young upstart pitchers. Made no sense to moi at the time, and makes even less sense right now, but let's not belabor that fact. It would have made a little more sense to moi if King Johan were, say, older than his reported age, but I'm just not going there, because, well, because there's no reason to. Based upon what we know, King Johan is in his prime time, an established multiple Cy Young Award winner, and it was rather curious that the Yankees didn't make much more of a push for him, don't you think?

What I find most interesting and most curious about the whole thing is Mr. Cashman's response to Mr. Hanky, saying that Mr. Joba is right where he belongs, and he ain't moving.

Stalemate? Checkmate? Checkout? Stay tuned for the fate of Mr. Hanky and Mr. Joba, coming to a blog near you.

You Know What? Watching A Game on ESPN....

... is about as exciting as watching grass grow, or watching the prices on gas changing hourly, or contemplating one's navel. With or without lint *ew*.

Not for anything, folks, but Jon "Game Show Host" Miller and Joe "Monotone" Morgan make the experience of watching a Mets game on ESPN almost excruciatingly painful. These two truly irritate me, and if I hear Jon "Bel-TRAN" Miller announce Bel-TRAN one more time I'm just going to...to...to.... puke, or scream, or both, which won't be very pretty, indeed.

Although Pelf didn't have his best game last night, we have to remember, he's still young, developing, and the Phillies have a rather strong lineup -- it ain't like pitching against the Gnats, or the Marlins, or another second division team, for sure. All in all, I thought he did a credible job, if not a noteworthy one.

And Carlos "Delwhiffo" Delgado still remains on the Little Pussies List, and if he makes his way off it sometime this year, frankly, I'll be amazed. And what's with Willie moving Luis "No Runs, No Hits, No Errors" Castillo back up into the two hole? I thought that was rather.... odd. And do note, folks, we did lose the game last night. Coin-ki-dink? Ach, who knows?

And hey, did anybody but me see Wags rip the Philly fans again? Man, there is certainly no love lost between Wags and them there fans in Philly, is there? Although they have long been known for their, uh, willingness to boo at the drop of a ball, or hat, and to cheer at the sight of an opponent's injury, I think it goes far beyond that for Wags and the fans. There seems to be a vitriol of the sort that goes very very deep and will have a very very long shelf life.

And finally, check out Coop's blog , Stefi's blog , and Tracy's blog for pictures and recaps of their trip to Philly on Saturday. Way to go, ladies!

How About That Pope... (And A Pox On Thee, Yankees!)

I've been watching Pope coverage for much of the weekend, and of course, I watched this morning's Ground Zero ceremonies, which were understatedly beautiful, touching, and healingly emotional. Perhaps the Pope's visit will signal a new beginning for some of the families touched by this tragedy, and will allow both the found and the unfound victims to rest in peace, once and for all.

I guess I'm like most of the rest of us who lived through that horrible day, glued to the TV, watching the unfolding of the events, with a somewhat surreal feeling surrounding everything, and later, a sense of profound loss, tragedy and untoward and profound sorrow.

May the souls of those lost rest in peace, and may their families find comfort, love, and most importantly, hope for the future.

And right now, the Pope's coming into a packed Yankee Stadium. And I hear the Yankees have banned him and his Popemobile from the outfield grass. A pox on thee, Yankees..... for shame, a pox on thee! You think the T-shirt was a problem? Just wait... grrr......

And I'm getting my brooms lined up for the game tonight.... I trust you folks are all doing the same. We're going to have a rather clean Mets house after this evening, aren't we?

Top O' The Fourth To Ya!

OK, I confess, I'm not Irish, despite the Scottish last name. I'm actually Polish, 100%, on both sides, and unless there's some slave blood mixed in somewhere, I'm as lily white as they come.

But no matter, it's the top of the fourth inning, and the Mets are leading the game against the Phillies, 2-0. The team came out like a bunch of gangbusters this late afternoon, with Reyes smacking a double on the first Moyer offering. Then Church hit a ball that did a weird drop off of So "So" Taguchi's glove (like, he dropped it weird), and whammo, first and second for Wright, who then, of course, did what Wright does, more often than not.

Result? 2-0 Mets, and Perez looks solid.

More later. Read at your own risk!

And To Think, We Were All Worried A Scant Few Days Ago...(Well, At Least Some Of Us)

What was that I just said? Oh yeah, that we were all worried about this team a few days ago. Or at least some of us. Or many of us. As Hobie told me, we've gone bipolar, dagnabbit!

In keeping with the bipolar theme, as the old song goes, what a difference a day, or two, or three, makes!

And it ain't just us that suffers from this disease, kiddies. The team continues to exhibit its schizoid Jekyll/Hyde personality, which I'm sure is meant to do nothing but confuse the shit out of us Mets fans and pay us back for all the booing at Shea, lol.

Right now the team is in the Dr. Jekyll stage, and I'll take it, yessiree, I will. Right now, I'm surfing the net to try to find a cure to prevent the Mr. Hyde in this team from returning.

I'm thinking it could be a combination of a dose of no J-Ro, a dash of starting pitching, a dab of timely hitting, and a good healthy glob of attitude.

THE GOOD... THE BAD... THE FUGLY....

THE GOOD
THE METS WIN!!!!

Figueroa looked fantastic again, really making just one bad pitch all night...

Bullpen was TERRIFIC... 6 scoreless innings, and now the team with the BEST bullpen ERA in the majors early on this year...

THE BAD


The Mets continue their tendency to make scrub starting pitchers like John Lannan look like Cy Young...

Continued inability to come up with big hits with RISP throughout the game...

THE UGLY

9-48 last night with 17 K's... Pretty horrific looking line in the box score for the Mets offense...

This Just In .... People Lie About Their Ages

And it ain't just us girls, apparently.

I read a story this morning that ESPN "discovered" the birth certificate of one Miguel Tejada, MVP shortstop, and that he actually admitted he's 33 years old, or two years older than he previously, uh, reported.

Don't that beat all, folks.

Although I hardly think this is going to cause a rush of guys to their local beat reporters to report they're actually older than they have, uh, reported, in the past.

Like Duque, who's more like 55 than he is closer to 45. Or Julio Franco, who's now out of baseball as a player, who's probably close to 60, moreso than closer to 50. Or, dare I say it, the Mets' very own Edgardo Alfonzo, whom I remember being on record a few years ago as being 26.

36 is much more like it.

He always looked like the oldest 26 I ever saw, and me, not having my Age Lying Detector on at the time, just chalked it up to.... well, I just didn't think about it.

But funny stuff, no?

Deja Vu, All Over Again, Except Different....

Or should I say, with a different team, but the same type of outfield.

Before I confuse you any more, here's a hint: What do Jay Payton (see my Stupid list on the left) and Roger Cedeno have in common with Wily (everytime I see that name, I think of Wile E. Coyote, heh heh heh) Mo Pena and Lastings Milledge?

Answer: Don't be stupid, of COURSE the answer is that they are possibly two of the worst outfield combinations that have ever had the misfortune (for their teams, that is) of playing major league baseball.

Most of us Mets fans remember the, uh, unfortunate combo of Payton/Cedeno, in center field and right field, respectively in, I think it was, 2002. Their motto that year was "Payton and Cedeno... every ball is an adventure." And truer words were never spoken.

Watching Pena and Milledge out there the past couple of days has indeed brought back memories. And not such good ones.

So, thanks for the memories, boys.

And thanks for our outfield of today, Mets. Even if Shirley Beltran is still on the Little Pussies List!

Time To Introduce Some Of My... Ahem... Friends

I guess it's as good a time as any to introduce you folks to some of the recurrent "characters," or ...ahem.... friends, yeah, that's what they are, friends, acquaintances, jerky people I work with, and the like that will make an appearance here from time to time.

Take, for example, a guy I work with whom I'll call, oh, hell, I'll call him by his nickname, or one of them - K. I was calling him Rob K, but after he read this item, he decided he either wanted me to call him by the moniker of K-Fag, and then he thought again, and decided "K" would do, so K it is. He's somewhere appearance-wise between Jesus Christ (in fact, some of the guys call him Jeebus, and I used to call him Allah, myself, because, well, being a Catholic, I just couldn't bring myself to call him J.C.), a modern-day hippie and a shock jock; yeah, I think that's about right.

Now get this -- he not only likes AL baseball, at the thought of which I truly retch, thinking about watching THAT type of baseball every day, but he's an Oakland A's fan, coast-runner that he is, lol. And he likes HOCKEY. He's the only person I know besides Ding Dong that actually thinks hockey is a worthwhile sport with a future in these here United States.

Anyway, Rob and I have a recurring funny feud about the Mets and the A's, and he swears, every year, that his A's will finish ahead of my Mets. So of course, in return for that, every chance I get, I try to make his life as miserable as I can, in a way only I can, lol.

He'll be appearing in my posts here more than occasionally, I'm sure, so I thought I'd introduce him today.

Before he comes back and I start waving the brooms in front of his face... heh heh heh!

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY!!!

THE GOOD

THE RANGERS WIN!!!!

And the Mets played a game...

Okay, Beltran's homer was a huge hit...

Nice outing for Johnny Maine, despite the 2 homers allowed... Woulda been nicer if he could have finished the 7th, but all-in-all, a very solid performance...

THE RANGERS WIN!!!!

Fantastic job by young Joe Smith and ole' Billy Wagner...

THE RANGERS WIN!!!!

Church continues to ignore the fact that he's not supposed to hit lefties...So, any night where the Mets win, Rangers win, Braves lose and Phillies lose is an okay night by me!!!

THE BAD

Delwhiffo!!!!

THE UGLY

Uhhhh... I give up... Pretty smooth, well-played game last night.... I'll give today's honorary "ugly" to the Red Sox bullpen...

Now, I Know This Isn't The Mets, Or Even Baseball....

....but it's just so dang monumental that I just couldn't help myself.

That's right, folks, according to WFAN and, apparently, according to the venerable New York Times (one moment of silence for this great institution, please....... thank you!), one Isiah Thomas is out as Knicks head coach as of this evening. So tonight, folks, is the last time semi-long-suffering Knicks fans will have to look at his smarmy skanky stupid mug amidst the presence of Knick uniforms.

And I'm not really a basketball fan, but even I know that Isiah has been to the Knicks what cancer has been to the human race. And I really don't think that's too harsh a statement.

So Knick fans everywhere, this one's for you!

There Now, Was That So Hard?

So last night, we Mets fans were treated (yes, treated) to a lovely win over the not-so-lovely-but-fairly-lowly Nationals. That makes two in a row, for those who suffer from counting deficiencies. Which considering some Mets fans find it acceptable behavior to boo players on opening day, before one pitch has even been thrown, and to further boo Johan Santana, who wasn't even here last year, his only rather tenuous connection to The Collapse being that he played major league ball, is probably a good bet. That you have counting deficiencies, that is, case I lost you there, which is also a really really good possibility, considering.

Maine didn't look great, but he pitched well enough, and Shirley Carlos popped his first cherry - his first home run of the year. Now that he's got the cherry, perhaps the entire sundae will follow.

My fellow contributor, DingoMets, will follow later with his GBU analysis of the game, so I don't want to ruin it for him by saying more.

And don't look now, but it's time to bring out the broom brigade!

Kiss It, Paulie And Other Things

Hmmmm.... so I'm watching the SNY pregame show, and Paul Lo Duca (remember him???) has himself a nice little interview. This, of course, after his having publicly stated that he hopes we'll lose all our games. Publicly. And I'm sure I'm not taking things out of context, either. So he goes on and on with Kevin, and talks about all the great friends he had and has on the team, and how he misses New York, and the boos, and the cheers, and I'm thinking to myself, in the immortal words of The Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, as the different choices are swirling through my head -- f*** you, a**hole, is the one that readily comes to mind.

With friends like you, Paulie, who needs enemas, er, I mean enemies. Yeah, that's what I meant. And maybe one big gigantic enema up the Mets butts to flush Paulie out for good, once and for all.

Ahhhhhhhh, how sweeeeeeeeeet it is!

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY!!!

Okay folks, time for the real fun to start, so let's kick it off with the daily GOOD, BAD, and UGLEEE from last night's Mets game!!!

THE GOOD

Well, pretty much everything... Pelfrey looked GREAT last night... Finally showed the poise and confidence that he'll need to succeed in the majors... As Keith was constantly pointing out, he was challenging hitters and throwing strikes, and that made all the difference...

Big game by Jose!!! Nice to see him back and nice to hear the fans still love him and sing his song...

5 Ribeyes for David... Now tied with Mark Reynolds and some scrub from Philly for the league lead, with 15...

GREAT to see Duaner back!!! Velocity isn't quite where it was when he was at his best back in '06, but he shut 'em down in order and looked strong doing so...

THE BAD

Brian Schneider needs to stop this annoying little habit he's developed of not catching the ball...

THE UGLY!!!!

Well, besides Deb, of course!!! Houston's bullpen... Thanks for nothing, ya jerks!!!!

So Listen, About Last Night

Great game by Pelf, and if it's a harbinger of things to come, let's harbinge away. I don't know, is harbinge even a word? But let's move on, and not worry about it, ok?

Pelf looks like a different kid out there. He appears confident and relaxed, and even the dopey mouthpiece isn't bothering me so much any more. I believe we have found Starter #4 if he keeps up this way.

And seven innings... my, my my.... almost too much to hope for, let alone become reality.

I still have a big problem with The Two Carloses (anybody who doesn't know who they are shouldn't be here, lol), and I don't like them back-to-back in the lineup. Stick a non-Carlos in there, willya, Willie?

Considering that the Nationals are, well, the Nationals, I think the least the Mets could do to regain the love, affection and some of the trust of most of the fans is to sweep them. To, you know, get the bad taste of 2007 and early 2008 out of the mouths of the fans.

Well, Folks, Here We Are!

Well, howdy, folks! I've been thinking about creating this blog for quite awhile now, and just decided, what the hell, let's do it! I'll have several contributors including myself, whom many of you may know as debmc from many Mets message boards.

Congratulations on making it here, and I hope you all feel free to comment, contribute, rip me to pieces, and the like.

A word about the name. When I asked my contributing buddy, Mike, about whether he wanted to name the blog "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly," he replied that it was fine, as long as I would promise to be The Ugly.

So be it. Amen. LOL

And awaaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!